It's peak wedding season, and our Instagram and TikTok feeds seem to be full of weddings. Stunning venues, designer outfits, choreographed wedding and mehndi dances, lavish decor and picture-perfect couples.

One comment I recently came across, from a popular South Asian influencer planning her own wedding really resonated with me:

"The wedding guest list is the hardest part of planning a wedding."

I couldn't agree more.

When people think about wedding planning, they often picture choosing outfits, venues, décor or food. Looking back at my own wedding, however, one of the most stressful parts wasn't any of those things. It was the guest list.

At first, creating a guest list seems straightforward. You sit down and start with the people you love most. The friends and family that you genuinely want to celebrate with but very quickly, it can become much more complicated than that.

The conversations suddenly change: “No you have to invite them." "They invited us to their wedding. "What will they think if they're left out?" We must invite the neighbours too!”

Before long, you're no longer deciding who you want at your wedding. You're trying to work out who might be offended if they're not invited.

"The wedding guest list is the hardest part of planning a wedding."

I remember spending weeks going backwards and forwards with my parents and husband-to-be over our guest list. Every time we thought we had finalised it, my mum would add another auntie or family friend to the list. Then another and another.

If we invited one relative, did we need to invite all of their siblings too? If a family friend was included, what about their partner and children? If we invited one cousin, would another feel excluded? It often felt like every name added to the list created three more conversations, sometimes even arguments and several more names to think about. At times, I felt I was walking on eggshells to bring up the ‘guestlist talk’ with my family, scared that it would also lead to bridezilla moment.

With every change, the stress seemed to increase. At times, it felt as though the guest list wasn't growing because of who we wanted there, but because we were worried about disappointing people

What made it even more difficult was the financial reality behind every additional guest.

Before long, you're no longer deciding who you want at your wedding. You're trying to work out who might be offended if they're not invited.

A guest list isn't just a list of names. With a ‘price per head’ for wedding nowadays, every extra person meant another seat, another meal, another favour, another wedding invitation card all while trying to stay within my venue's capacity. The pressure and stress to keep everyone happy came with a price tag attached!

I remember on the day of my Wedding, there were aunties and uncles, that we rarely saw, family friends we hadn't spoken to in years and guests who found their way onto the list simply because leaving them off seemed likely to cause offence. I remember seeing some guests and thinking that I had no clue who they were but just smiled at them to be polite.

I do sometimes wonder whether I would approach it differently if I was to plan my wedding again.

Of course, there is no perfect answer. Weddings bring together families, traditions and communities, and maintaining relationships matter. But perhaps the lesson I've taken from the experience is that it is impossible to keep everyone happy and sometimes, the real challenge isn't deciding who to invite, it’s deciding how much influence other people's expectations should have over your special day.