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Hot Flushes, Brain Fog, Faith: A Muslim Psychologist Writes About Coping with Menopause
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Psychologists don't usually talk about themselves.... so how did this one end up writing about her own perimenopausal experience, and include Islamic teachings in a book about coping with menopause?
When I trained as a clinical psychologist 26 years ago, I was taught not to engage in self-disclosure, which literally means, not saying anything about yourself in therapy settings or in public. That's mainly because we are there to listen to our clients and their difficulties, not to distract from that by talking about ourselves. But over the years, things have changed, and there is now an understanding in the profession that people like to hear a bit about professionals and problems from their own lived experience that others can identify with. Of course, we won't experience everything our clients have lived through, but we are also human and not immune to experiencing the same difficulties, and showing vulnerability can be validating for them. The difference might be that we have developed more awareness and learnt tools to help us cope.
This was the idea behind the 'Coping With...' series of books that my professional body The Association of Clinical Psychologists (ACP-UK) decided to produce. They were looking for clinical psychologists to write about their lived experience of difficult circumstances and how they used their psychological knowledge and expertise to manage that situation. As I was in the throes of perimenopause at the time, I offered to write a book about that stage of life.
I can tell you that writing a book whilst experiencing hot flushes, night sweats which led to poor sleep and tiredness, and brain fog, was no mean feat.
I wrote 'Coping with Menopause: Psychological tools for navigating the transition and living a balanced life' whilst I was experiencing many perimenopausal symptoms. I can tell you that writing a book whilst experiencing hot flushes, night sweats which led to poor sleep and tiredness, and brain fog, was no mean feat. Sometimes, I did worry if it was wise for me to be engaged in this project when there were days that I would struggle to find words to complete my sentences. However, it meant I could put the tools that I describe in the book to the test, and I found they did help.
I am a South Asian Muslim woman, so writing about my lived experience meant that I could include how my ethnic background and faith influenced my experience and coping strategies.
I am a South Asian Muslim woman, so writing about my lived experience meant that I could include how my ethnic background and faith influenced my experience and coping strategies. So, in addition to describing mainstream psychological tools from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I was able to talk about the intersection between those and Islamic teachings, and how I turned to both to help me manage. This is what I describe as my biopsychosocial-spiritual approach to understanding and managing the menopausal transition.
It is important to remember that although every woman will experience menopause, each journey will be unique. While a quarter of women do not find it to be very bothersome, the other 75% will experience a range of symptoms, making it a difficult time to varying degrees. And it's not just your physical body, but your mind, your experience at work, your relationships, and your general sense of self that can be impacted too. Yet, many women are not informed about what to expect or even aware when they are already in perimenopause, often feeling confused and worried about what is going on. Psychological symptoms in particular are often overlooked, as are the differences in how menopause is experienced across different racial/ethnic groups.
In the book, I explore how our attitude can make a difference to our experience of menopause, shifting the stigma and cutting through the gendered ageism that has impacted on research in this area. Drawing on a range of therapeutic approaches, I provide evidence-based coping tools and strategies, including journaling space at the end of each chapter. There is also a helpful toolbox at the end of the book summarising all the exercises for practice, and charts that can be used for tracking periods, sleep, mood, eating etc. These can provide invaluable data to take to your doctor when you go to discuss and collaborate on your menopause care. You will learn about yourself and how to manage your symptoms, take back control of your life, and restore balance. You will feel reassured and rejuvenated, ready to embark on your second spring in life.
Here are some reviews from readers of 'Coping with Menopause':
"The way Dr Islam writes this book is beautiful"
"A comprehensive and humorous guide...invaluable strategies and lessons learned from
both Eastern and Western perspectives. A must-read"
"A toolkit of practical help delivered in a compassionate way"
"Reading it I felt like I was having a therapy session with practical guidance and strategies in each chapter. It's a guide to life as well not just menopause which is what we all need. Highly Recommend!"
"The author's raw, honest, and often witty account of her perimenopause journey is incredibly relatable - I felt validated."
"...She has carefully researched the field of women\'s mid-life hormonal transition to explain the process... as many of us are caught unawares when we find ourselves in the menopausal trenches...A must-read for all women!"
"Thank you for this book- I felt validated and it made me feel heard and 'normal'. I can relate to it so much!"
In celebration of Menopause Awareness Month, you can use the code Momotaj25 to get 25% off at the checkout. Coping With Menopause: Psychological tools for navigating the transition and living a balanced life - Sequoia Books
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